Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
