fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize