I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
