Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
