how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
