im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
