his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i dont even know how to be here
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
