Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
