he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
i think my cat just said my name.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize