Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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