note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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