So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
