Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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