Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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