How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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