evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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