his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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