just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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