he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
