Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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