I feel great
I just peed on a car
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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