Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
