Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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