you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
