It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
