Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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