watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
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He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
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I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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