I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize