Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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