P.S. I can't hear my feet
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
