i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
