i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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