a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just pee around me
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize