: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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