Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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