i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
