would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
