halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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