i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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