I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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