My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
