just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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