so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
