You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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