you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
