I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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