True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
