I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
