Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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