I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
