no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize