Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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