ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
