Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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