the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
