and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
