please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
