Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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