I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
