I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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