I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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