I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
