he puts the penis in happiness.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
