As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
