I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
then he tried to convert me to islam
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
