Don't you send me to vm
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
